Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Question of 'Why'?

It is such a trivial question... Why?

Why am I writing a blog on 'Why'? Firstly because this is my first lesson in the corporate world. Secondly because, the question of Why, has a lot of relevance everywhere. Professional, personal, social, economical or spiritual. You name it and you have encountered this question. Sometimes the question intrigued you, sometimes it irritated you, sometimes you ignored it, sometimes it was standing right in front of your face much to your discomfort and sometimes one why lead to many others. Few instances I can think of:
  • Why did you go there?
  • Why did you do that?
  • Why did you not send the report?
  • Why should there be a report in the first place?
  • Why can’t I just forget everything and go on a holiday?
  • Why should I learn English?
  • Why is a rapist the way he is?
  • Why can’t the world be at peace?
  • Why does collective wisdom (read as mob justice) fail more than it succeeds?
  • Why should politics be the way it is?
  • Why is the economics the way it is?
  • why is the demand - supply - price equation or in-equation the way it is.
  • If you dig into my posts.. the very first post was about why? why should I write a blog?
  • Why are you even reading this blog?
    Let me not try and induce you into finding an answer to the last question.

Many of us have spent a lot of time pondering over 'What' should be done and 'How' should it be done. Answers to these questions can at the best only scratch the surface. But if you have to understand what is lying beyond, you need to understand the 'Why' part of it.

Also an answer to the 'Why' question leads us to the cause and effect point of view. It becomes much easier to go about your actions if you are convinced about effects or the ill-effects of your actions. You could well be a Business Tycoon or Chartist with no money or extremist or High School teacher or a beggar. There can be only two scenarios when people are comfortable in their actions. Either the 'Why' part is convincingly answered or the question was never asked. Both these situations are two extremes on the scale of indifference. And the scale of indifference is one of the indicators to personal satisfaction. In the first scenario where the actor has satisfying answers to the question on 'Why',he would be very happy with what he does. There is a fair chance that an indifferent person, on the other hand, will eventually be unhappy, either because he is forced to do what he is doing or by being indifferent he is not going to give his best and the results are not up to the mark.

Hence the question of 'Why' is very important for an individual's happiness. Let me put a word of caution on my closing note. I am just trying to emphasize the importance of the question of Why. Getting satisfactory answers does not by any means indicate the actions are justified. That is because the answers could convince the individual but in a society they may not be acceptable. Like in the case of brainwashed terrorist. The debate on whether the actions are right or wrong is still open. All I am trying to highlight is the relations between individual's happiness and the question of 'Why'.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Run Mumbai Run

They say mumbai is always on the run. It never stops. Not when its day and not even when it is night. Not during the weekdays, not during the weekends. Not when it rains nor when it shines. The running is an integral part of a mumbaiker's life. Mumbai is timebound. Almost everything happens by the clock. And that keeps mumbaikers on their toes. Then comes one day when mumbai runs for a cause. Mumbaikers run together. Some have a reason to and some run for the sake of running. Its the Mumbai marathon that happend on 18Jan for the year 2009.

For any stranger in the city, the very first thing that strikes when he steps out of Dadar/CST/Mumbai Central, is this large wave of people, half of them talking into their handsfrees. If one looks at the footbridges, it looks like a can of sand opened and the fine sand pouring out of the can. I define mumbai as a place with an ocean of water besides an ocean of people inside. And it comes as no surpirse to me when I came to know that the Mumbai marathon is the 7th largest in the world. I expected it to be even larger.

This year, even I decided to run. It came as a very casual thought sometime in the Aug08 when a freind mentioned about the event. I consider myself to be a person with a better than average fitness. And so I chose to run the half marathon, a distance of 21.097km. It did seem to be an impossible task, yet, it was telling me i'm possible. And considering that I had roughly 4 months to prepare, I registered and immediately started practicing.

Registration to Dday -1:
I moved to Mumbai in the last week of June to join Lehman Brothers. You don't have to try too hard to remember this name. Yes, this is perhaps one of the oldest institutions which was unlucky to be not rescued but the US govt and succumbed to the deathly blows of the financial recession. Till Sept15, the day when Lehman filed bankruptcy, my focus was on work and few hrs in the gym for my marathon preperation. When the news broke everything became secondary. I diverted my energies to secure a job. I managed to move into a company that is percieved to be safer. But during this transition I lost precious 2 months, as far as the practice for marathon is concerned.

After settling down in my new company, I started gradually from 2kms on the treadmill to 9kms. I was careful not to push myself any more than I can take. For one, my new job has been demanding. And another reason, being my soon to arrive kid. I am eagerly looking forward to my wife's due date, to take the baby in my hands and experience the joy of being a parent. The last thing I want to see happening is a ligament tear or any injury preventing me from doing so. Of course I was mindful of the fact that 9km isn’t even half the journey.

What worked out for me is that I kept myself away from any expectation. I was practical all the time, to not to push too far. I had my priorities clear. I had no time goals. No promises made. I would have been happy even if did not complete the marathon, if I came uninjured. I would have been happy for giving a honest try. As long as I did give it my best shot, the result did not matter.

Then the attacks on Oberai/Taj/CST/leopold... happened. On the 27/11 Mumbai did not run. Mumbai came to stand still. The BSE closed. After the attack on CST, the local train had an abandoned sight. The suburbs did see some activity, but it wasn't what Mumbai otherwise was. The television made a fruitless effort to showcase the Mumbai spirit. Not taking anything from the heroes who bravely fought, the spirit was brutally attacked up on. Fear, for a brief moment, took centre stage. By the time Mumbai woke up from the nightmare, over 160 lives were lost.

As for me, I was angry over being helpless about the situation. I wished I could do something. I wished, I was in the centre of the action. Sometimes I wished I was a well trained commando. Sometimes I wished I was a smart ass to talk to terrorists and do something. Thought ran over why this is happening. Why should humans hate humans in the name of God. I was afraid of the way human relations are deteriorating. I was afraid to imagine that my kid will have to live in this bad world. I was concerned that the things only seem to worsen. How will he/she manage? Will I be able to protect my daughter/son?

At the end of it, I came to a conclusion that no matter what, I have to fit and strong. One doesn’t know when a situation that demands a person to be strong physically and mentally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I should be able fight. I should at least be fit to survive. I should be able to protect my family if not more people. I have to be confident about my physical abilities. That is what kept me going in the marathon practice. I would stare in to the eyes of my reflection in the mirror while running on the treadmill. When I hear about heroic stories that happened during the attacks, I felt that it is courage, hope and belief above the fear of death that made the survivors. Thus went my practice.

A day before the final run, I went to check the route. To my satisfaction there was water and energy powders available at frequent intervals. The route did not seem as long as I thought it to be. This brought more confidence. Although I planned to sleep for 8-9 hrs. I could barely sleep for 6hrs. The excitement of running a marathon kept me waking up after every 2hrs.

The run
The final day came. I had breakfast, bananas and a liter of water before I set for the start point. At Azad Maidan, from where we would start, seeing the participants, I experienced a rush of adrenaline. There were roughly 3000 participants in the half marathon category everyone had their own reasons to run. Some for promoting Car Pool. Some for environment. Some for child education. Some with their corporate T-shirts on.

I ran for CRY. Let me make a confession here. I had tagged along with CRY because the direct entries for the half marathon were closed. I am a firm supporter of two causes. Education and Environment. But this time it was not a social cause that I ran for. I was more selfish. Ok, that relieves me from the guilt of being not very honest about my association. However, let me make a quick point here. What we teach to childern is a preview of how we will see the humanity tomorrow. That is why the importance on right education for all. That way organizations like CRY do an impressive job.

The event started exactly at 6:45am. On time. Like a mumbai local train that leaves, on time , from Churchgate every single day. Participats shouted slogans in the praise of the country. Some carried the Indian flag. Some condemned the terrorists. Some hailed the NSG and Commandos. It was electric. I felt a surge of energy. Goose bumps were only the external signs of the excitement. For a breif moment, I forgot how far I have to run. All that I could think of was how exciting the journey is going to be. When such emotion takes charge, physical constraints take a back seat. It wont matter if you are built for a marathon, or bearing the burden of pounds of unwanted fat. It doesn’t matter if you are 25 or 52. And this charge stayed with me initial 3 kms of the run. The music that was being played had a catalytic effect.

By the end of the 4th km, slowly the body started complaining. I was consoling my body by telling how 9km on a treadmill was a piece of cake. But then I knew the difference between the actual run and a practice run on a treadmill. So I took my first dose of hydration and energy powder. From 4km to about 8 km I kept dragging. sometimes I walked and sometimes I ran. Things were getting tougher and the destination seemed elusive. By this time I was on Peddar road.

All the while I kept noticing the spectators who have come to cheer the runners. Morning walkers, residents near by, friends or family members of the participants. A little girl was standing with a poster that said "I love papa". I could picture my child a few years after. An old couple were waiting with energy drink. A group of old gentlemen who perhaps are in their late 50s were cheering their friend, an energitic grey haired gentleman running beside me. A south-east asian runner kept thanking those who were taking her photograph. A couple, perhaph a westerners, wore T-shirt that said "I love mumbai". On looker rubbing their eyes and cheering "run India run". Beautiful young females giggling. Small kids helping the volunteers distribute the water bottles. Some kids from the slums(judging purely by their appearance), were having fun picking up runners and teasing them, but not missing a chance to say Jai hind. Policemen minding the spectators to stop them from walking on the track. And some policemen with a pot belly, still cheering the runner to do what they themselves seemed to be incapable of doing.

I reached Haji-Ali and that is when I got the most beautiful sight of the run. The road from Haji-Ali's junction to the Nehru centre, roughly 2km, runs along the coast. The road is little elevated at the Haji-ali's junction. One can see the entire road from there. When I saw it, I could only see heads of the runners. Some walking and some trying hard to run. It was a true sight of a sea of humans. The movement almost mocking the waves of the ocean which was next to the road. It was a if a "sangam" of oceans of two different kinds. The ocean seemed to be trying to pat the back of the runners and wishing them the best. This my friend, is Mumbai.

That was another high point. Lost in this thought I comfortably completed the next 4-5 kms of the run. That brought me to the last elevated part of the run. Having come this far I felt more confident about completing the run. So the mind said I can do it and body said I will try. Through the elevation I had an unexpected companion. A street dog, seemed very excited about seeing thousands of runners, was also running with us. It was limping sometimes on 3 legs and switched to 4 legs after giving the leg ample rest. I ran with this dog for about a km. I am not an animal lover. I do not think I can ever have a pet in my house. But it was very heartening to see the canine run and am thankful that it diverted my thoughts from the burning sensation in my feet. It was probably a wrong choice of socks and I could feel them rubbing against my toes.

During the run I realized that I wasn’t even among the better runners in the marathon. Initially I fared well. In the later half I realized I was getting slower. I noticed a good number of women comfortably running past me. But then, hello, remember equality of sex? I am living up to it :).

In the final phase, an elderly gentleman struck a conversation with me. We were walking at that time. I came to know that he is 59. This time due to a knee injury he couldn’t do well otherwise his timing was around 2hrs 20mins. The next year, he will be a senior citizen. The marathon for senior citizen is for 3km. I told him, that for his age and his state he is doing an amazing job. Till the day before the marathon, I felt that it is such a task. And achieving will be a pinnacle in my fitness. But after talking to him, I was humbled. I knew I can do better the next time.

Finish
No amount of words can describe my happiness at the finishline. About 1.5km from the finishline, I told my self "I can 'run' this extra mile". The pain kicked in after about 200mts. Then I told myslef, "Ok, no issues, I will 'walk' the extra mile". The anticipation to reach the finish line got the better of me and by the end I was talking to my self "I will somehow 'go' the extra mile". But just before 200mts from the finish line, when it was in sight my feet started taking pace. I ran. I ran like I just started the marathon. Of course, I did not want to be captured in the photograph 'walking' across the finish line.

My fists got tight. Goose bumps... Just about 2hrs 43mins before I was at this point going the other way all charged up. It was a similar feeling. I felt like running few more kms just for the sake of it. Though I was a little upset that it was all over. I could see the finishers lying on the road. Most of them going through a similar emotion. The brain ignored the signals from the aching body. It was only listening to the elated crys of joy from the mind.

Ending Note
The media largely projected the Mumbai marathon as mumbai's response to the terrorist attack, by turning in such large numbers. Again the spirit of Mumbai was talked about. Without denying this, let me present a different perspective to it. The registrations were closed more than 3 months before the event due to huge response for participation. This shows that the mumbaikers as a whole were very enthusiastic about the event. The terrorist attack had got nothing to do with the participation. However post the attacks, it was possible that the event might have been cancelled. Or if the fear continued, not all the registered would have turned up for the final event. But they did and Mumbai ran once again. Mumbaikars ran for the cause they believed in. While they did, they also said they aren’t deterred by the evil plans of the terrorists.

One final observation before I end this rather long post. While mumbaikers ran, so did many other guests, people from the west, south-east asian, african origins. I heard Gujrati, Marathi, Hindi and few other languages while I ran, it was either the crowd cheering the participants or participants conversing between one another. I have seen kids from slums cheering runners with ipods. I have seen spectators distributing biscuits, candies, filter water to everyone. So it perhaps doesnt capture the entire emotion if you call it the spirit of Mumbai. It was the spirit of humanity. I can only pray that this spirit is preserved and spread across.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Englishman who went up the hill but came down a mountain

At 1:30 in the night what on earth prompted me to open my laptop and pen down my thoughts? It is this movie "The englishman who went up the hill but came down a mountain".
Summary: Two English cartographers visit the small South Wales village of Ffynnon Garw, to measure what is claimed to be the "first mountain inside of Wales". It's 1917, and the war in Europe continues. The villagers are very proud of their "mountain", and are understandably dissapointed and furious to find that it is in fact a "hill". Not to be outwitted by a rule (and the Englishmen who enforce it), the villagers set out to make their hill into a mountain, but to do so they must keep the English from leaving, before the job is done. http://www.blogger.com/www.imdb.com/title/tt0112966/plotsummary


The movie captures emotions around some things which seem to be very trivial otherwise. It shows how the locals develop a bonding and take pride in the some objects in their surroundings. How those objects become the identity for those people and what those people are willing to do preserve their identity. Perhaps the movie isnt among most touching stories that one can come across. But the innocense of the characters definitely captures the attention.

The characters struggle to live with conflicting emotions, between priciples and practicalities, between cheating and honesty, in order to achieve a task that would restore their common identity. And to do so, they raise a hill to a mountain. To this day, according to the movie, it is a ritual in this village for the villagers and the tourist alike to take mud to the top of the mountain and preserve height of the mountain. Legends are thus created. It also symbolizes that it only take that little extra mile to make it big. Cute movie. worth a watch.

Bargaining

Here is an interesting conversation I had with a fruit vendor this evening while bargaining for Oranges. (excuse me for the ban Hindi)
Me: संतरे कितने के है भैय्या
Vendor: बीस के चार
My wife: आअह!! इतना मंहगा ?? ( like she would get an oscar for such a natural expression of shock )
Vendor: मैडम आजकल बहुत मेहेंगाई बढ़ गई है
My wife: क्यों किस शुभ अवसर पर?
Me: दिवाली की वजह से। (oh yeah the inflation and stuff is all crap. only for the new channels TRPs)
Vendor: हाँ सर दिवाली के वजह से ही मेहेंगे है
Me: तोह भाई चलो फिर कल ही आतें है। कल येही संतरे बीस के पाँच मिलेंगे।
Vendor: हांन सर। कल आयेंगे तोह बिल्कुल बीस के चार मिलेंगे
Me: अब आपने सोछी लिया है तोह क्यों न आज ही पाँच देदो। हमारा एक चक्कर बच जायेगा।
Vendor: ठीक है।
Happy customer walking away with 5 oranges.

We move on to the next vendor
Me: संतरे कितने पे दोगे?
Vendor 2: बीस के तीन.
Am I happy or what? first time in Mumbai I felt like a shaana. My wife so proud of me :p

Mobile - an update

Rockrider reporting from Mumbai. Yes, Mumbai. Before I moved into this city, I heard a lot of this place. Some have kept me thinking if I should ever move to this city. Some other compelled to move. And after coming here, there was never a time that was less action packed. More on that later. I have a few thoughts to share. But before I did any of that, here is a sequel to my last blog 'Mobile phone?'.

In the period between March 08 and now, I have changed two companies. I am currently working for a firm which has strict norms about information security. No laptops. No ipods. No mobiles with cameras or with storing devices. (You may now want to go back and read the earlier blog). So much for all that running around for a mobile that would live up to the times. I am going back to my old ugly looking mobile which I saved for no good reason. Life goes in circles... I guess.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mobile phone?

It has been nearly 4 years now since I am using my mobile phone. It was one of the cheapest models available at that time. The sole purpose was to be able to speak to my girl friend, who is my wife now, for prolonged hours. The phone I bought was a basic model 'armed' with a mono colour display, a key pad that had given my finger more pain than my keyboard and a sliver body harder than hammer.


When you live with things, with or without life, for a long time you grow and affection towards them. More so with few among them like a pets, clothes, mobile phones which have become a part of life. And when they near their life, you start forgiving their behavoir/misbehavoir. Consider my phone for example. It has a weak batter, the body paint chipped out, worn out key pad and out of fashion. Perhaps only 1 out of 2 people trying to call me can get through. To the extent my sister and my wife conspired to part me with the phone perhaps by throwing it under a bus.


Once when I was in the queue for security check in the Delhi domestic airport, the guard frisked with metal detector. I switched off the phone believing it is the protocol. The guard noticed my phone, took it in his hand and switched it on and waited patiently till it turned on. Then he looked at my face and exclaimed "yeh chalta hai" (this one works!!!). Despite that humiliation, I continued to use it for many more months



But then all good things have to go. And so will my mobile phone. So I went on a mobile search. Expectedly I had a budget which was around 10 grands. The first shop I reached was "reliance web world". I told the man at the counter to show me the options. I was asked to show the handset I am currently using. I showed him the one I am using which was breathing its last breath. Then the man said "there are two options 777 and 1331". "what is the price of each?" was my obvious question. "777 and 1331" came an instant reply. I clarified myself once again this time with a stress on the word "price". "sir, the price is 777 and 1331". Evidently the man, after looking at the old mobile, guessed I should be give options with are the cheapest. I quickly made an exit

Lesson 1: Mobile indicates something more than the fact that you are connected

I moved to the next store. This time I went on to look at the GSM mobiles. Once in the shop I was overwhelmed by the choices one have. Technologies like bluetooth, 3G, high capacity memory etc... Added to that I there are N number of companies. Some often heard of and some never heard of. Okay by now my head started spinning.

Lesson 2: Technology is moving too fast. If you are not updated catching up is a headache

So I decided to move to a company outlet, hoping that the choice will be less to choose from. The store attendant approached me. From my previous experience realized that I should be telling the person what the price range is before he asks me to show masterpiece I owned. After that the sales person asked a question that I was not ready for.... "What do you want in your mobile phone". For heaven's sake what kind of question is that? My phone doesnt work as it should be. It is more mobile than a phone.

But this time I did not want to sound like I have come from the Ice age. So I thought for a while and told him, that I need a phone which can play good music and has a decent camera. After browsing through the catalogue I ended up buying a Nokia 5610. Tested it in the shop before I took it. All is well.

The next day I bought an Airtel connection and was in high spirits returning home. And why will I not be, a brand new mobile phone, with a red and black graphics, a built in walkman sort of (yeah I am from Ice age) and a camera with a flash. Then I made my first call to my mother. The call wont go thru... Called up again.. aaahaa!!! no way. Low signal. I go to the window put my hand outside to see that the reception is better. Placed a call and put the phone in loud speaker mode. There it is... okay the phone works good

Except, for the people looking at me, I must be looking like an ape in the zoo trapped behind the grill. with a banana in its hand sticking out thru the grill.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Recession vs Depression.

One has to understand the definition. The word recession is intimidating. Yet the fact that US has undergone nearly 10 recessions in little over half a decade indicates that it is an over hyped ghost that the media has projected.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession
vs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Depression

If you look at the link below (debt), it's a dejavu. Debt may not be the single factor to a recession/depression. The US govt announcing the interest rate cuts to propel spending and boost liquidity, history says it shows a short-term growth. The short term activity of spending due to interest rate cuts have long term implications like the Sub Prime crisis US is witnessing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Depression#Debt

Many argue about decoupling theory. Decoupling or not, it is imperative that countries like India should look at alternative markets. It is like you invest in the share market, you will want to distribute your risk across your portfolio. Following is indeed one option.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Bharat_could_save_India_from_US_recession/articleshow/2667404.cms